Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Carmarthen with Mike Bubbins.

I'm still having slight headphone, uh ... issues. I can't work out what to do. / Yeah. / It's like I've never done a show before. Uh ... it's ... do you ... I don't know where to put ... one on, one off? / One on is good. / This whole thing ... people think ... people __ ... impression you'd get __ what you hear, you know, / Radio ... Radio Wales, national ... national station / you would think / a bit like the Hubble telescope, wouldn't you? ... think it would be like, uh ... / Yeah, / images ... like m__ a__ studios, banks of speakers, __, switches / air-locked together to make sure / no dust / a green light above the door / no ... no dust on you ... / ... white overcoats ... / ... white suits ... / You got it. / That's what you __ think __ BBC Radio Wales. It's actually a little box, about the size of ... it's about the size ... do you remember ... / half a shoe box / ... before ghetto blasters? ... It's half a shoe box, yeah. I was thinking before ... Do you remember before ghetto blasters? / Yeah. / There ... every ... we just used to have ... hey, kids, hang in there. / 若いリスナーの皆さん、我慢して聴いてください。 / Yeah. Come on. / ... before ghetto blasters / __ it. Ghetto blasters / before that / before ghetto / do you remember ghetto ... kids, / ghetto blasters, kids? ... No? Well, cast your minds back before ghetto blasters / Yeah. / the ... after bulb radio and before ghetto blasters. / Oh my god. How far back are we going? / 70's, I think / OK. Cool. / Everyone had those little tape-recorders. It was just a little ... / I __ one of those. / Yeah, __ little pop-up thing / Yeah. / pop a tape in, push it down __ __ __ buttons on the front, wouldn't it? / RECORD, PLAY / press / Google / yeah / kids / tape-record(er) ... 70's tape-recorder. Google it. That's what we got. / Yeah. / But, __ like __ modern __ ... / Google that, kids ... other search engines are available ... / Yeah. / ... and look up 70's tape-recorder. You'll see a little machine, flat, ... / Yeah. / ... just a little flat thing, 2 inches high, and you p__ __ little five buttons on the front. That's pretty much what we__ got / that is the studio. It's a room with one of those / 若い人は Google でテープレコーダーのことを調べてください。おじいさんは百科事典で Google のことを調べてください。/ You got it. / not much bigger than an ipod ... / No. No, uh ... / ... /mp3 / Yeah. Walkman. ... What's a Walkman? Never mind. Google that as well. / Google "Walkman". / Bing it. Bing it. / Google "Radio Wales" ... to find out what ... what the hell is going on. That's that, kids. Uh, that's ... that's it. That's all __ still __ __ set of headphones __ __ __ / And, next track, Glenn Miller. Get along. Do it. Come on. / Uh, now then, today's gonna be the light-hearted gambol through the newspapers. / Yeah. / I can hear you now, Mike. / あ、おまえの声が聞こえる（ヘッドホンが機能してる）。 / Thank you. / Say something again. I __ quite exciting when you ... / __ __ __ __ __ __. ... How's that? / What's your handle? / Uh ... Rubber Duck. / Google "handle", kids. / Rubber Duck /... Google "CB Radio", kids. / Yeah. ... if ... if you ... if you are older, ... / Yeah, / ... get an encyclopedia and look up "Google". Yeah. / ... Yeah, for older people, yeah. Other ... other ways of looking up things are available. / Of course they are. / Obviously, other than ency ... encyclopedia. / Yeah. Go and ask your friend. / Ask ... ask a friend. / Helper. / Ask an encyclopedic friend. / Here we go. / Yeah. / __ __ __ __ __ / Innit? ... The handle ... look up ha ... look up "handle". That's the name ... / __ the show __ __ Google it for you. / ... that's the name given to somebody who is on the CB Radio. So, look up "CB Radio", then look up "handle". / look up "Convoy", the film / Oh, you can / watch Convoy / go down to your local tape ... video shop. / Yeah. / ... Look up "video shop" on Google / レンタルビデオ屋で ... Google でレンタルビデオ屋とは何かを調べてから、レンタルビデオ屋へ行って、「コンボイ」を借りてくれ。 / go down there, take out Convoy, and you'll ... / Check ... / everything you need to know ... / check if / rewound / Check if __ video __ been rewound ... / テープが巻き戻されているか確認するのを忘れんようにな。 / ... then remember __ __ a video player, then __ __ need to go __ __ __ / garage / if you go on / Google / there's this place will convert VHS to DVD. / Is there ? / Yeah. / What's the DVD? / I don't know. / VHS を DVD に変換してくれるよ。/ DVD って何？

__ __ your text__ and emails coming in. What have we got here? ... Jim in Edinburgh says, "Hi Rhod, what would you call ..." Oh, god. / This'd better be good. / Uh ... "What would you call a man and woman going fishing?" / I don't know. / Rhod __ __ __ / Yeah. / N__ ... it ... it says, "How about a name joke feature? I'm doing your job here. ... Let's have a name joke feature. Why not? I'm happy with that. / __ __ big. When I was in school / name jokes were big, weren't they? / head? ... Cliff. / you know / sort of stuff / seagull / yeah / man with ... what / on his head / it could be, yeah. / Yeah. I / anywhere near __ really / cliff, couldn't he? / I suppose. ... __ __ __ could be anything, couldn't __? / Of course __ could. / Do you know what I mean? / doesn't have to be / what / call / man / Russel. Remember? Russel / Russell (rustle), yeah. ... Give me a chance / 答えさせてくれよ。 / I know. Sorry. / what's the joy in / joke, isn't it? / it's not a quiz / でも、これはジョークであって、クイズじゃないから。 / Ev ... everything is a quiz, mate. / OK. / in the second half of the show / here's one for you / car on his head? / 頭に車を載せている男の名は？ / Hang on now. Uh ... it's not just, uh ... it isn't a bad mechanic or something like that? / 腕の悪いメカニックとか、そういうことじゃないよな？ / No. / Uh ... / ... Falty hydrolic lift / oh, heck / heavens / what / oh, Jack? / Jack, Jack. / Oh. / that's a cue __ __ __ you've got there. Jack. / couldn't it? / It was good. What else have we got? I'm quite / what would you call a man with a number plate on his head? / Hang on a minute. ... Carl ... / No. No. That's good, though. That's good, yeah. That's fine. / that's fine, apart from __ __ end / good, man. / end of a joke / why not? ... Come on. Think. Think. / What was the question again? / __ __ __ __ __ / I know / what would you call a man with a licence plate on his head? / ... What do you call a man ... well, what kind of licence plate? Is it definitely a car licence? / UK car licence / could be anywhere / could be anywhere / yeah, could be anywhere / well / Italian / Italian, innit? / This is a good feature, this. / this is a helluva feature / license plate, get in touch. ... Come on, What's the answer? / Uh, sorry. Um ... what's the ... what's the question? / what do you call a man with a car licence plate on his head? / Yeah. Registration plate / away / I've made it easy / plate on his head? / joke, innit? / the road for the same reason / I know / but / that / joke / Not really. / why / he / just / registration plate around his neck? / rapper / you would then / call him Run DMC or something, wouldn't you? / __, I'll tell you what / your name joke feature took off. / __ __ __ now. / smashed it.

I've got / I've got a great follow to that joke. / read that joke. / Do you want me to read it? / Yeah yeah. / this is from __ in N__. / OK. / presume is N__ / How lazy is he? ... or she? / __ __ in N__ / don't worry about __ / yeah / any more to go on. Uh ... "What do you call a man with three logs on his head?" / ... Classic. / Classic. / Edward W__ / that one is, "What would you call a man who / on his head / ... Yeah. / Do you know? / No. / I don't know either. But Ed__ / wood / very nice / after that / keeps coming. Uh ... / equalizer. That's / started / yeah / thanks, uh ... thanks for that / sending that in. Uh ... __ __ another feature coming in / what's that? / Morning ... Morning, Rhod and friend / came in before ... / came in before you __ here / in his defense / my CB / it's not brilliant ... this feature. / should suit the show / Harsh, innit? / Harsh, innit? Uh ... "I'm from S__ / Is that it? / says M__ / no / I nominate / Common People to represent me in the Rhod-o-vision Song Context feature / cities in the UK / S__ band / Yeah. / Yeah. / Rhod-o-vision / Rhod-o-vision. So, you just choose / local band / is that it? / you then dress up like, uh ... I don't know, pixies or fairies or something, and then you rotate every year / I think / he's not really expanding / is he? / What's his name? / Martin from S__ / Martin, we need __ details, pal. / from S__ / Eurovision / in the UK / suggest / play / Who do you say? ... Who would you say? / suppose / competition / winner / end of it / I imagine / next year / host city / I've gone full circle / you can / writing down / Rhod-o-vision Song Contest / I've written it down. First entry: Common People from Martin in S__

chaotic show as usual today with several features, sort of, being semi-launched / up / features / how many candles are you burning? / How old are you? / meaning "how old are you?" / talking / about CB ... / radio / C__ Band radio / look it up, kids / all / 70's, 80's / CB handles / name you, uh, gave yourself to take to the airwaves / Jeff / which house are you in __ __ __ __ __ just look / did / people's life / some of my mates had ... just ... the biggest a__s, like p__s / on top of their house / でっかいアンテナを屋根に / Carmarthen / the nearest, sort of, / CB hub / I don't know, mate. I was eight. / get lost / teens / nearest "m__" was / whenever / those days / far / no / there's / yeah / pretty much / dual-ca__way / all the way __ Carmarthen / an a little studio in Carmarthen / discussing / at the moment / name jokes / I apologize in advance for these / we didn't / you know / one / man with three logs on his head / then / suppose / head made of wood / E__ / three heads / four heads made of wood / I don't know / that's the ... that's the ... / formula / Yeah. / if you ... if you / six minutes, that's / the end / four heads made of wood / come / with that / you've nailed it. You've smashed it. / Kids'll love it / what was / do you remember that / was / set up to it / bit / like / what was the set up? / what / "w" in it. ... I don't know / why ... why would that be / no d's / that's like saying / I've got / what / actually / will / what do you call "ham" / without / "m" on the end? / it's funny, innit? / it is good / I told you / no / equalizer / what was the set up / what do you get / if you take some of the "d"s / somebody's / who cares? / No one cares. ... I know my name backwards is __ / Is it? / Yeah. / that's quite ... / ever / dome / very / things / sad kids / __ on something / my / right / Nhoj / John / Snibbub is Bubbins backwards, right? / so / chocolate / backwards / yeah / I / watch / know / how far does this go? / very tragic / own language? Is it / arrives / quickly / be honest. I / my name / ih / hi / something / about / you / oh, you used this language? / honest / after that / where / talking / in my room, talking to my imaginary friend / no mate / all the time / in your bedroom / opening up to / imaginary friend / come / upstairs / ever stop / late at night / police / too / you get pulled over / just about / hang on a minute / let us try this one. / what's your name, mate? / P.C. Robert / jones / yeah / please / on your way, mate / off you go / no worries / He's fine. He's fine. / scratch that.

Jim in Edinburgh / he's back / name feature / can I call Gilbo / aqu__ed now / Stalker. / did you / this week / yes / dogs driving t__s / that one / list, Jim / you've got / No.1, uh, / name joke feature, which, I / tell you / since you've launched it / no correspondence / No, no. / No response. ... What was that second feature? / you tell me where you live and you / choose one of their tracks / competes / in the second half of the show / Rhodovision Song Contest / so far, no response. / no / Feature 3 / which / I'm already worried about / "dogs driving t__s" feature / set the phones on fire / that / one / 8 10 12 / text / Uh ... what else / we / got / Hi Rhod / hang / what's / if you remember / Rhod-o-vision / come on / "Hi Rhod, / I'm from B__ / so, please enter / enter One Day Like This / Dear Rhod and Mike, we are next-door / nice / hello / our / nice to / youngest listeners / 48 / and E__y, 61, tomorrow. / BBC Radio Wales / yes, you are the youngest listeners / as you well know / since you / 50 / next / grandma / hello / I think you are / unless / so, welcome ... welcome to the show. I apologize / 1970 / about it / talk__

what ... what / your house / decorated / 70's / furniture, car, wall paper ... / what's the obsession with the 70's? / great / decade / that's enough, innit? / So, you / finished / Huh. / Huh. / I can, uh, tell you / born / about / Yeah, yeah / talking backwards / I work out how old people are / by some information / how / mate / just / born / decade / right / so, you / hey, mate, / born / 70's / OK / finished / eight / 何年代に生まれましたか？/ 70 年代です。 / 70 年代が終わったのは君が何歳のときですか？ / ８歳のときです。/ hang on / age / Carmarthen d__. Here he is / how many candles are you burning? / eight / tell / what / Rhod-o-vision / scale / we've ever had / what you do is / tell me / from / pick / band / Song Contest / I write it down / forget their names / three / write down / to be honest / and / then / choose / winner / with, uh, Common People / in / One Day Like This / don't / impression / Thanks, mate. / A__ in H__ / obviously / Happy Hour / now we are talking / given us two ... two songs / everything's not OK / from / the legend / aka The Wonder Stuff, could represent us / Euro-division / for a while / glad nothing has changed / so, there we are / we are up and running / quickly / English Bob / originally from / famous band / from / pop black / put / what's his name? / English Bob / Bob / Yeah. / actually / David / that's fine. / p__ b__ theme tune / because D__ __ __ from there / put / down / I'll tell you what. We are keeping __ happy today / is it? / there we are / clear / get lost / stick that in your ... stick ... / I suppose / old-fashioned / red plastic / OK / little bubble blowing / snuff box and sniff it. / kids

The thing / this feature / is becoming a bit of / admin ch__ / had / back / classic FM / normally / listening / other / radio / station / cup of tea / undeterred / much appreciated / partly / all the time / never / so successful / writing things down / back / name one / So__ in Austria / name jokes / christmas / give me a chance / hang on a minute / ask / me / give me a moment / what / woman / head / Bucket / Treestand / b__ shop / say / she doesn't give the answer / she / ask / she's wondering / somebody / Christmas / what her name is / a mate / a mate / who / always / then / name / sound of music / remembers / same name / totally fogotten what it is / asking / us / for Christmas / but / the thing is / from Austria / probably / I don't know / I don't know / means / means delicious fish / yeah / Christmas / tree / christmas / of / course / think / looking for / otherwise / what / exactly like a Christmas tree / we / a bit more / Austria / email / hi / what do you call / christmas / nor does she. She doesn't offer the punchline / I'll tell you what / another / feature / why / do / show / full / features / everyone / red hot arrow / everyone / straight in to the trunk of radio / apple on your head / confused / apple / head / true / don't get me wrong / better / radio / William T__ / good / literal / you / nope / what / Simon / that's a good one / make / Simon / OK / fair / could be / that / Anyway, the point is / tell / Austia / throw that out as a feature / best / good / or / b__ basement stand thing / name / then let us know

Now then / song / which / poo / suggested / rubbish feature / pick a band / best track / Rhodovision / but it's taken off / nothing / on / earth / John / he's had enough / keep / coming in / any / writing them down / so many now, in excess of 15 / hey / done / usual / even / corner / head / better / on my head / radio / better / entries / a lot of them / not / gonna / mental / our favorite / got / worry / producers / version / six minutes / six minutes of it / radio / do it / on Twitter / miles / going there later / dream. Live it. / there / just in case / no no no / actually / allow it / allow it / everything must go / you can certainly enter / song / contest / immediately / good / Keith from / what about / talking / here / the girl / christmas / what's she on about? / only / lead / what / Christmas / my suggestion / A: / B: / tripod / keep on coming in / text / win / no / prize / does everything / grand tune / uh / now then, what else / by / strange / yeah / see / that's wonderful / supermarket delivery driver / Cardiff / Cardiff / calling / I don't / in the box / never know / supermarket / two answers / from __, originally / from / you know who I am / you don't / any song / have to pick one / tell / these / Graham / time / know / which on / all good / wants to / back in touch / Rhod, she / carol / What? / Christmas / necessarily work for me / does / much better / more accurate / good effort / no

oh, b__ / today / features / crazy / on the go / name / looking / head / sent in by / Austria / bothered / head / could / not bad / not bad at all / too / seasonal / from Swansea / keep / nice / nice / what / French / head / Fillip-Flop / god / misleading / work / say / so / name / looking / could / good / could happen / could easily be / yeah / innit / could / another feature / punchline / think of the setup / answer / joke / punchline / what / Christmas / give us the setup / name / jokes / No. / pick / band / song / choose / winner / so far / Common People / sent / original / all / 3 / feature / anything on / that one / moment / moment / is / since / I know / somebody / don't tell me / scary / show / god / I / gonna / "Hi Rhod, / couple / andy / so / put forward / who / also / from / from / thank you very much for that / fast / never / walking / shoes / the woman with a Christmas / head / name / could be called Rooty / very / kind / I think / like / older / auntie / exist / B__ / stick with that name / do / exist / if / feature / name / get in touch / punchline / on the other hand / very / awful / come / look at this / What? / what is it? / rubbish / brilliant / simultaneously / so / head / Mary / is / rubbish / simultaneously / brubbish

youngest / dear / show / old / make / music / proper / hello / son / birthday today / birthday / could / there / what else / thick and fast / back / I love this one / no / know / by / port / yellow / understood / Rhod-o-vision / band / choose / put / head / DIY / no / answer / told / no / although / good luck painting / browns / told / all my / I have / doing / every / see / encyclopedic knowledge / massive / anything / I can fetch / newspaper article / say / hold / if / younger generation / Google / stop / that / eight seconds / eight / story / that's / OK / yellow / afraid to wear / 21 / any / makeup / survey revealed / absolutely / eight seconds / people mock this show / email / rhodgilbertshow / they don't realize / last / ten years / slow / with that / really good / Rhod-o-vision / winner / martin / full version / Common People

why / live / bbc / 11 / 1.

参考：

http://h2g2.com/edited_entry/A676406

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